The following is meant for "What John Thinks."
Anyway, this episode starts off sans that pseudo French-looking guy who didn't understand any of the challenges. You know the guy who was supposed to be eliminated weeks ago? Let's roll the tape (DVR) and hear Kenley's thoughts (..um i think that's her name).
Kenley Collins, 25, in a nutshell: "I'm sad that Daniel is gone. He was my best friend and we worked side by side together."
Wha? Wasn't she the one laughing at his comment about his 'impeccable taste?' Maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, I just thought that was pretty funny, if not at least totally untrue. That Kenley is shifty.
Carrying on, Keith is totally shaken since he was in the bottom two. His motivation to do better:
"I want to change the way the world dresses." He says.
Vague.
Anyway, since the last challenge involved massive trannies instead of the typical androgynous walking sticks they call models, there were two models up for elimination. What's his name, um...Joe (what kind of designer's name is that? On top of that, his model's name is something that sounds like Foccacia or Picassio???). Anyway, Joe keeps his curly haired, light skinned black model so as not to disturb the 'modeling world.' I guess he doesn't like to make waves.
So Heidi stirs things up by giving the designers a mysterious address to go to....which ends up being a parking garage. Creepy.
As they go up the haunted elevator, Kato comments "This would be hot if this were a party." Everyone else is freaked out.
Up on the roof, there are a bunch of cars.
Um...
Licious states "What are we gonna use a car for?"
My thoughts exactly.
So in a lame attempt to advertise for Saturn hybrids, the designers are put up to the challenge of .....turning car parts into an outfit. Guess the grocery store episode wasn't good enough.
To start off, they have 4 minutes to gather all their materials. What is the point of that? Why do they always do that on reality shows (for example ANTM). Everyone rushes around, getting inspired, except Stella, ehhh, Stella, who puts her foot down with, "I'm not even dealing with rushing around like a fool. How embarrassing- like rushing! I'm not moving." Meanwhile Suede is talking about collecting 'whackadoodles.'
As their time runs out, everyone goes back to the workroom. "This is all about innovation, so DO it! Have Fun!" Tim Gunn handwaves.
"It's very experimental right now..." says Licious, while everyone's tearing apart car seats, mirrors, and other heavy duty materials. Keith once again asserts how he's gonna fail this challenge, I mean, how he's gonna try to impress the judges. Stella's confused and 'trying something out of her comfort zone.' (Recipe for disaster, since she hasn't really been in danger of being eliminated yet.) Suede says 'whackadoodle' and 'bleeds for fashion,' tearing up a mirror into shreds, as an embellishment for his look.
(Anyone wanna see Ghost Town? Just saw the commercial for that. Might be stupid though.)
And we're back. Designers..designing..hm...okay, Stella's back to 'doing something not leather.' Suede talks about his dad who passed away, whom he remembers giving him a car in his youth. The designers argue about what the judges want. "They want diversity." "You never know."
At this point, everyone looks around and sees that everyone else grabbed seatbelts (seatbelts are so the new shower curtain of the season). So everyone tries to use them like 'no one else is using them.' Kenley for one, uses air filters instead and actually uses a sharpee to create a zebra pattern. Pretty creative.
The black guy is feeling pretty confident about his outfit. It's futuristic. Velma is talking about her dress, that has a different silhouette and comments that 'Everyone is using seatbelts. So I want to use them in a different way." Yeah, we know.
As usual everyone's falling behind and then Tim Gunn shows up to tell everyone that their models are coming in for a fitting. He informs Kenley that her model is dropping out of the competition and one of the other models, Jermaine (who was eliminated at the beginning of the episode) is stepping in to take her place. Deflated and further set back, Kenley now has to refit her outfit. Shows a little ugliness, she complains that her model 'bailed on her.' Then she gets a little more ugly, trashing her new model with the following, rather entertaining observation, "My new model, Jermaine, has a completely different body. She is completely flat and boxy, where Shannon was very narrow and curvy. So, I have to change everything. I have a lot of work to do."
"You sound like Tim," chimes Stella.
At that point it would have been funny if Tim actually showed up and said "You DO have a lot of work to do. Make it work!'
Anyway, after a short commercial break, Tim actually does show up to check up on everyone and dash their hopes. He starts with 'Licious and doesn't really like it as indicated by "um...keep working, you have a ton of work to do!' Translation: Not impressed.
The black guy explains his look and Tim really likes it. Oh his name is Jerrell.
Looking at the humble Korto's kreation (her future label name), Tim also really digs it. He calls the silhouette a '60' s mod look that I think is fabulous' and tells her to 'pull this off! go-go-go.' Translation: Loves the concept but doesn't want her to get complacent, so he's motivating her to execute it well.
Moving on to Stella, trying to do something 'unexpected,' Tim plainly states that her outfit isn't innovative enough.
As he walks over to Velma-girl, he's really impressed and he 'gets it,' telling her to 'figure all this out, but you have a great foundation.' Translation: See Korto above.
And then we go over to Keith, who's more focused on impressing the judges this week than anything else. "But you have to believe in it and it has to work,' advises Tim, astutely so.
And scene.
With some time elapsed, Terri meanly calls Korto's outfit 'Jeepers Creepers," to which Korto calmly replies "I am so hating on you right now."
Meanwhile Keith is having a total meltdown, throwing stuff, warning the others not to 'mess up his sewing machine,' and revealing his sense of entitlement with this line 'Everyone wants to win but I think I deserve it more."
Anyway, at this point we find Stella chatting with her boyfriend "Ratbones," (God given name, William) on her lovely 'tmobile sidekick.' She reveals that she wants to create a clothing line with him called 'Zotis and Bones.' They exchange 'I love you's" Aw.
Elimination Day has dawned and now it's crunch time. Models go in. Tresemme hair salon and Bluefly time! No trannies this time. Oh well.
As Keith admires his crappy work, he tells his model not to sit in her skirt. (He tells her this before she has to go into hair and makeup. Idiot.)
10 minutes to runway time, and Keith discovers that there's a tear in his model's skirt. "Did you sit down?" "Yeah, they made me." Poor model. Is there no model union to protect their rights??? They get treated like crap. Anyway, Keith starts whining 'When I saw Alissa with the tear in the skirt, I was pissed because I've given a small task to a model and I would hope that she could follow direction. I know that it's a competition for her too, but there's so much more at stake for me than there is for her." What an jerk. It's not her fault the skirt he made wasn't wearable. What kinda skirt is 'standing room only?'
"Welcome to the Runway....blah, blah, ...one day in...next day out..." starts the Heidster." For this challenge you had to recycle car parts for the look of your choice and this was another test of your ability to be innovative." Klum introduces the judges this week. Kors, check. No NinaGarcia- instead- the very red-headed, Laura Bennett (season 3 finalist) fills in. I guess she's not pregnant at the moment. Also, someone named Rachel Zoe, apparently the star of some show called the "Rachel Zoe Project," is the last judge. Whatever.
Jerell's up first. His model strolls down with the tallest pony tail ever, but she looks good. Very futuristic. Hot even.
Keith's sucks. My mom could make something better blind-folded. Off of a $3 pattern from Wal-mart.
Terri's is hot. I'd wear it.
Kenley's is kinda vintage like usual but it's elegant and pretty with an air filter skirt covered in sharpeed zebra print, flaring out over a pencil skirt. Nice.
Velma's looks amazing, with an edgy exaggerated silhouette featuring what I like to call "super hips."
Suede's oufit, featuring silvery fringes off the hem of the dress, is okay. Looks kinda like his skirt threw up a pom pom (wow that was Kors-esque).
Korto's is an absolutely elegant and sophisticated jacket completely woven with seatbelts (but you could never tell). Beautiful.
'Licious's is a good try but it has some problems (especially in the boobs part...it's messed up). Making boobs a weird shape is never a good thing.
Joe continues to show his penchant for sports wear with his version of a 'motor-cross kinda dress.'
Lastly, Stella's is different for her, but disjointed looking.
The middle of the pack qualifiers this week are Terri, Suede, Joe, and Kenley.
Bringing out the models, we pretty much figure out the Top Three includes Jerell, Korto, and Velma girl (Leann, apparently) and the Bottom Three include 'Licious, whom Heidi claims will have 'no sex for 7 years' for breaking a mirror (I think you mean 'bad luck for 7 years,' Heidi), Stella, who gets criticized for having a top and skirt that look randomly placed together, and Keith, who frankly embarrasses himself. The back of his outfit looks horrible and the Bennett points out that his outfit has absolutely no concept. He doesn't take the criticism well at all, blaming his model and his outfit and gets an insightful mini-lecture from Michael Kors.
The Top Three end up in the following order, from Jerell, in third place, to Korto, in second place, to the winner, Leann (since she won, I'll stop calling her Velma. She earned it along with some Scooby snacks).
'Licious is dismissed next as the least worst of the bottom three, leaving Stella and Keith.
"Stella.....you're in, you can leave the runway. That means Keith, you're out."
Keith holds in the tears up until Tim Gunn tells him to pack up his things. Then he cries in the confessional shot, regrettably leaving because he tried to create something he thought the judges would like, instead of creating something that was truly his. Saw that one coming. Not a very surprising episode.
Next episode doesn't look as entertaining as last week (Trannies), but hopefully it's less predictable than today's. We have a top fashion legend, Diane Vonversenbergggg (I don't know, apparently she's intimidatingly huge in the fashion world). We should have a lot of designers showing some signs of stress, as they try to impress this lady. Looks like the pressure is on. You'll at least see some tears from Kensley, who has been doing well despite feeling the pressure times. Could be her breaking point. We'll see. Other than that, I feel pretty confident that a black designer could win this season. Korto, Terri, and Jerell are all really solid.
Next time, your regularly scheduled columnist, John Ceballos, will be back with his regular format. Thank you for bearing with me for now. Remember to reduce, reduce, and recycle. And if you're ever in a bind, living in a van down by the river, you CAN make yourself a fierce outfit. Peace out.
